Can You See the Divine in Yourself?
The story of the transfiguration makes me wonder what Jesus knew and when he knew it.
I mean, when he got up that morning, did he know it was going to be an outstandingly spectacular day? Was the transfiguration on his 'to do' list? Or, were they out hiking and enjoying the beauty of the day when suddenly this crazy event happened? We know the disciples were amazed at the sight. I wonder what Jesus' own internal felt experience of the event was? What did he see, hear, and feel?
I wonder because while I believe that Jesus was both human and divine as the church teaches us, I am not sure what he himself knew of his divinity. I can imagine that he would have grown into his understanding of what his relationship with his father was. Days like his baptism and the transfiguration must have been peak moments of knowing of his father's love for him in a most unique way. What did he do with that? What did that feel like to the carpenter's son?
As we move into this Lenten season is the question we ask ourselves really that different? How in touch are we with the Father's love for us? Do we recognize that we are God's own sons and daughters and thus have a spark of the divine in us? What does it feel like to recognize that just as the Father called Jesus his beloved son....he says the same to us, about us...
Most days I know I don't feel like that. Last Sunday night at Vespers, Sr Carol Perry invited us to use this Lenten time to change our hearts. Yes we need to repent, but frankly, (she said? I heard?) it's a given that we are all sinners....God knows that already, and loves us anyway. Our Lenten task is to change our hearts. To believe that we are loved by God and to act like it! How are my actions different if I start from a place where I believe that I am God's beloved?
If I believe I am God's beloved I think I am much more gentle with myself and with the world around me. I stand firm in my purpose, to be the change for good I want to see in my world, with a sense of peace that the world cannot shake.
If I believed in the good that God sees in me...wow...what would that feel like? What about you? What in you needs to be transformed this Lent?